Wednesday, March 28, 2012
So, I am not morbidly obese anymore. I am just overweight. To give you an idea of the weight, picture me at five feet tall and then add a slightly anorexic me on top of that. That is how much I used to weigh. Two peoples worth. I now weigh approximately one person and a half.
If picturing me as two people isn't enough lets talk sizes. I was shopping at the very northern part of the Target clothing area where sizes start back over at 1 because the numbers otherwise would be just too depressingly large. XXL t-shirts were a little snug and pants were too tight at a size 16. I'm now a generous medium on top and a 10 on the bottom.
Everywhere I go people I know give me compliments which is awesome and somewhat awkward when they add on that I was nice looking before as well. Like I will be offended that people noticed how big I was before. It's okay folks, I'm well aware. I am starting to feel sorry for those poor souls who have never been fat because they probably don't get as many compliments as I am getting now. It's kind of wonderful.
Here is what I have learned thus far:
I wasn't ready to lose the weight until I was. It took not just a few years of some pretty hard work internally before I could even begin and I absolutely know that God knew what I needed to work on and that weight was the only thing I would actually ask for help with. Being sad was my normal but the weight was suffocating me. God put exactly the right help before me. Counseling is good people. Don't wait. There are probably many more people than you would think who go they just don't publicly announce it like I do.
Exercise is not just for people who want to lose weight (I for real thought that my whole life). I had no idea how much better I would feel or the confidence I would gain as a result of getting stronger. My goal used to be that I would get to the ideal weight as listed on a chart for my height and then be done. My new goal is to be healthy and make exercise part of life for good. My body will settle at the weight I am supposed to be.
Ask for help. I was at a stand still with the gym and I asked for help. It has changed my life. Thanks Katie!
Give people who have lost weight compliments and encouragement. It means so much and is greatly appreciated.
Now that you are sufficiently updated I must confess I am still a mess. I make mistakes. I contemplated stealing a stuffed animal from the Gap the other day because by the time I realized Charlie had it we were all the way at the other end of the mall and I am lazy. I love stuff and I spend a lot of time looking at purses on the internet. I don't have it all figured out. Not even a little bit. At school pick up this afternoon Ruby told a friend, "I have swimming today, damn it (add eye roll and perfect delivery.)" This was in front of many teachers and parents and I have only myself to blame because I say damn it all of the damn time. That being said I turn 35 tomorrow and I have never been happier even though I am still a mess and will forever be one. If I didn't have help from a lot of people I would not be wearing shorts in public but beyond that I let go of so much more than weight these past few years.
So, thank you. And for all the skinny people out there. I'm sorry you don't get to experience losing weight. You're really missing out.